i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
