if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize