I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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