Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
