he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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