a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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