Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
