Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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