If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
