mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
