My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
