Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
