I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
