We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
