I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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