K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize