Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Houston, we have a squirter
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
