I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize