Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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