So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I intend to get homeless drunk
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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