doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
