dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize