oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Panties = found
Randomize
