Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize