i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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