I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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