He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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