She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
