Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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