absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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