haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
