Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
