like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
