I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
