Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
