Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
