Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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