i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
