i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didn't shave. On purpose
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
