Its about making memories worth repressing
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
