U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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