"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
