He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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