Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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