so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my shit smells like andre
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
