You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The best revenge is premature balding
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
