Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
