we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
