Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
