we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize