There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize