Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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