You're completely useless in the revolution.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
