So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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