Don't you send me to vm
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
