I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
