So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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