omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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