i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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