we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
