Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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