Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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